Video helpers needed!

Video helpers needed. We need a girl to be our "Southside Princess". If you can answer "Yes" to at least 25 of the following questions then you are what we are looking for. Payment is minimal but a number of benefits in kind can be provided.

Take the WASTER (wannabe American southside twat - extremely retarded) test

1. do you do a course in college that you hate and have no idea why you’re doing it?
2. did you go to a fee paying school?
(preferably one of the following: mount anville, holy child killiney, loreto dalkey, loreto on the green, alexandra college, muckross)
3. in college, do you only sit with people who went to your school?
4. do you feel totally lost when speaking to someone who is outside your social circle, as if you feel you have nothing to say?
5. when something surprises you, do you automatically react by saying “ohmigod”, “OH MY GOD” or some such variant?
6. do you hate anything to do with “muckers”?
7. did you go on a J1 visa to san diego or any other california beach resort?
8. do you like to spend your nights out in any of the following places: the palace, rio’s, buck whaley’s, club 92, or lillie’s bordello on a really wild, “messy” night?
9. has your face ever looked like it was covered in ronseal quick drying woodstain after a night out?
10. do you write about how “messy” last night was on your bebo page?
11. do you have a photo section on bebo entitled “new york baby” , “london baby”, “san diego baby” etc etc?
12. do you bring a camera with you on nights out so you can take photos and put them up on your bebo page?
13. have you only ever been to croke park to see a rugby match?
14. do you pretend to like rugby and go to rugby matches even though you know nothing about the game?
15. do you own a pair of ugg boots?
16. do you own a pair of dubes? (yes I know this one has been done to death but it still has to be asked)
17. do you speak as if each sentence you say is a question?
18. did you think “friends” was “like, the best thing ever”, until “sex and the city” became “like, the best thing ever?”
19. did you think sex and the city was like, the best thing ever, until the oc became “like, totally the best thing ever”
20. did you totally empathise with the girls from sex and the city and their troubles as if they were real people?
21. do you take absolutely no interest in current affairs and/or world events?
22. have you travelled to a foreign country which you find difficult to pick out on a map?
23. when asked to describe your hobbies, is “shopping” the first word that comes to mind?
24. do you like nothing better than a raid on one of your parents’ credit cards in bt2?
25. did you frequent the old wesley disco in your teenage years?
26. do you say that you know that the ross o'carroll-kelly books are a joke and then try to emulate the characters?
27. do you wear clothing with “abercrombie and fitch” written across the front in large bold lettering?
28. do you greet casual acquaintances by hugging them?
29. have you ever been given a brand new car as a birthday present?
30. were you driven to and collected from school by a parent?
31. have you been to a full moon party in thailand and thought it was just the craaaaziest thing you've ever been at?
32. do you call your mother “mum”?
33. do you like to “high five” your friends?
34. do you think nothing of missing your first lecture of the day because you are doing your make up in the morning?
35. do you admire or respect the talents of any of the following people? Rosanna Davison, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, any of tyhe cast of "The Hills", Laura Woods, Glenda Gilson, Lorraine Keane or any of the presenters of TV3's "Xpose"
36. do you occasionally go to copper face jacks, believing it to be somewhat of an ironic cheap thrill?
37. do you aspire to have your photo published in the social diary pages of a national newspaper?
38. do you wear sunglasses on the top of your head even when it’s night time?
39. do you think the coronas are like sooooo amazing? "they're like, so hard working?"
40. do you believe that "goys" attaining a starting place on leinster senior schools cup team ensures legendary status for that person for the rest of their lives?


how did you score (“when we were drunk, i can’t really remember anything” is not the answer for the less bright amongst you by the way)

under 10 “yes” answers: you’re alright. everybody is allowed a few cheap thrills and guilty pleasures, but you’re generally a well-balanced, reasonably intelligent human being.

10-20: you’re not really a WASTER, but the prevalence of “yes” answers means that you are probably associating with too many WASTERs. You need to strengthen your resolve to avoid becoming one of them.

20-30: you are well on the way to becoming a full-blown WASTER. unfortunately you have probably waded too deep into the pit of shallowness to extricate yourself from it now.

above 30: there is no hope for you. you are the epitome of a WASTER. You obviously have serious psychological and social deficiencies, and your self-esteem. is lower than the mariana trench. i was about to say that there are professionals who can help you, but actually there aren’t. more to be pitied than laughed at, or more to be laughed at than pitied? i can’t decide, baby.

note: if you are from the northside and got more than 15 “yes” answers, you are worse. southsiders at least have the excuse of being born into this shit.